Okay, the hunting dog listed below is kind of like Riley Rover going with me in the Fall and Winter for Starbucks and Panera rides in the Jeep in Southern Maryland...in between appointments!?!?
You Might Be A Redneck Home Stager If...
I live in metro Atlanta, which is Jeff Foxworthy country. Last I heard, he lived about 20 miles up the road from me. We all love him around here.
Last week my husband and I went to the local diner for dinner (supper?) where they have a Jeff Foxworthy calendar on the counter. He has a "You might be a redneck if..." line for every day of the year! That got me to thinking that some of us may be redneck home stagers, but just don't know it. I decided to come up with a list which will help us determine if we fall into that category. If you see yourself (or your stager) in the stipulations below, I don't advise fessing up to it. Here are the determining factors:
You might be a redneck home stager if...
- at any given time, at least one of your clients is named "Bubba."
- your hunting dog accompanies you on every job.
- when tackling curb appeal, your main dilemma is how to camouflage the Chevy on blocks in the front yard.
- decluttering involves getting the homeowners to par down the number of appliances on the front porch.
- your favorite staging greenery is kudzu.
- you've created a CD "mix" for your clients to use during their open house. It includes such favorites as "My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Miss Him" and "If the Phone Ain't Ringin', It's Me."
- your staging fragrance of choice is "fried catfish."
- when updating, the homeowners typically replace their "comics" wallpaper with an Elvis mural.
- your staging "trademark" is a greased cast iron skillet placed on the stove.
- you always leave the toilet seat up.
If you have additional criteria to submit, please feel free. We must get the word out before it's too late.
If you know of someone suffering from "Redneck Home Stagers Disorder," please have them call our Stagers Anonymous hotline at 1-800-GET-HELP. Time is of the essence!